March 26, 2005
As The Primary Care Giver for an Alzheimer’s Patient, How Can I Get a Break?
Taking care of a loved one who has Alzheimer’s is a huge responsibility and very time consuming. It can bring a lot of stress, frustration and more. You devote all your time to your loved one and not have time for yourself anymore. You always wonder: when can I take a break from her? It is not an easy decision, but sometimes it has to be made for your own well being.
There are different options to consider. If your loved one is in early/mid stages of Alzheimer’s you can consider private duty home care. Many agencies throughout the nation and in your community provide this service. A list of providers can be obtained in the phone book, from the local Alzheimer’s Association, Area Agency on Aging, or any case management and referral source. The private duty home care can include services like bathing, sitting, taking to appointments, shopping, meal preparation and other day-to-day essentials. This assistance will definitely help you in getting more free time.
(by: William Hammond, J.D.)
You might also try adult day care. The centers usually operate from 8.00 am to 5.00 pm. It is a good environment for socialization. Your loved one will be able to interact with others, but she knows she will be back home for the night. If you decide to look for an adult day care, you will want to make sure the staff is experienced in caring for Alzheimer’s patients.
Another solution is hiring an independent in-home care giver yourself. This person will take care of your loved one while you are away. You may be able to obtain names and information about experienced caregivers from places such as your church, Alzheimer’s Association, Area Agency on Aging.
Make sure you check the references. Meet and talk with the prospective caregiver and see how the person interacts with your loved one. Touching is very important. It could be a pat on the back or gently rubbing the hand. You can even ask your loved one for input about the person. People with dementia are often perceptive and intuitive.
And don’t forget! You have family members as well that can help you. A loved one who has Alzheimer’s affects all family members. So if family members offer to help, take advantage of it.
Remember, help is available. Do not feel guilty because you want to take a break. You deserve it.
About The Author
William G. Hammond, JD is a nationally known elder law attorney and founder of The Alzheimer’s Resource Center. He is a frequent guest on radio and television and has developed innovative solutions to guide families who have a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s. For more information you can visit his website at www.BeatAlzheimers.com.
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I recently had the misfortune to speak with one of the representatives at the SSA office. The young lady was very abrupt, rude and condescending for our elderly population to have to deal with for even a moment. How can we possibly have people looking out for the best interest of our elderly if we are of the mind set, “I do have to move on”, “…is that all I can help you with.” “There is help for those who can’t do these things (use a touch phone for 9 different menu items),” too busy to listen to voiced opinions for our elderly. How I was treated in indicative of how our elderly are seen in our society so many times, and so many times they avoid, refuse or just plain give up, trying to talk to someone who acts like this young lady acted toward me calling on the behalf of a 90 year old lady living in KY that faces loosing her 40 dollars a month SSI because she has crimped and saved for over 20 years to get 2000 dollars. I would hope that our news media, local enterprises, or someone would take interest in these people, this population that we have put on hold for 10 minutes too long, told to push 9 different keys, and told you can’t keep your 2000 dollar savings. Some at 90 cant even stand at a pay phone for 10 minutes, because they can’t afford a phone in their home, and push and listen to the minute instructions for that length of time. Yet, we are so eagerly, willing to take away 40 dollars a month. I hope you see the irony in this, the lack of respect for our elderly, the harshness that is show by a hardened worker, I ask and will continue to as that our senior, senior citizens (80+) be treated like people whether on the phone, on the payrolls of America, or in our societies of all cultures. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I am sure this is not the only letter or concern out there, but I had to write some one about this young lady, no names, maybe she will learn someday that elderly people are people too. Again, thank you for this opportunity to write.
E. Graham, PhD, LCSW, ACSW, DCSW
Director
Fleet and Family Support Center
Comm: (732) 866-2115
DSN: 449-2115
FAX: (732) 866-2131
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